Inner Demons — Angela Bettoni

A review

To share my experience in reading this manuscript, I decided to use ten images. These ten images relate to ten things that are mentioned in the manuscript itself.

Spoilers alert!

1. The backpack

There are several aspects to unpack in this novel. Just as at the beginning of the novel Jessica's backpack is "still half-open", we as readers start to get a glimpse into Jessica's life. At an early stage in the novel, we do not know yet, that Jessica, the protagonist, for instance, has down syndrome. And we don't need to know at an early stage. Because we get to know Jessica as a character for who she is. And then, eventually, we discover she has down syndrome because that is who she is as well. The backpack is also what contains all of Jessica's possessions; to me, it symbolises her world and all that is dear to her. Her backpack is red too ... but we'll come to the red colour later on.

2. The paper ball

Just as a paper ball is crushed, these characters are not all pure and innocent. They have their flaws, they have their ups and their downs. They are multi-faceted, just as we all are. They seem real because they make mistakes, they fight, and they struggle. All of the characters have their struggles, their "inner demons" and we get to discover these as the novel progresses. We get to love the characters but sometimes hate them too. And this is what makes a dynamic character in a novel, just as in real life. But paper balls are also fun and just as "they were trying to shoot paper balls into the trash can", we are reminded of the fun aspects of life ... such as reading this novel, to begin with.

3. The guitar

The novel is filled with moments in which art takes the centre stage. I could relate to moments of dance, and the musical Grease ... I love Grease! But I chose the guitar also to remind us of the musicality of the language. I am sure it was a thorough and lovely process, Angela, to write a novel but also to work with Clare Azzopardi. I too work with Clare Azzopardi and love our discussions about the choice of words and such. For instance, I have to congratulate you on the use of inner demons’ voices but also the direct speech, which I must say, is authentic.

4. The elastic band

The elastic band can be dangerous but useful. And this novel has both of these elements. It is dangerous in the sense that Angela took a leap into writing at such length and share her work with us all. It takes guts (and time and effort) to write a novel. But it is also useful because it makes us see the world through other characters' eyes. And this is what a novel does sometimes; it helps us to see things that otherwise we do not get to live or experience. In the novel, Jessica (and her anxiety) think: "we just like an elastic band, very flexible" -- which can be a bad thing, but it is also a very good thing. We grow and we adapt and as readers, we do that too. We open ourselves to the novel and new genres.

5. Spinach

I chose this image in relation to the theme of vulnerability. At one point Jessica has spinach on her eyebrows, and this moment captured my heart. Because I could see a human Jessica. I could relate to her because I tend to get food all over me. I am messy that way. But vulnerability also comes in because Angela was vulnerable the moment she chose to write a novel. Because when writers write, they are giving away a bit of themselves that will become public. Even if the story is not about them, they have shared a bit of what they think and how they think. And I think that is pure poetry in itself. That is beautiful.

6. The chair

I chose the chair as an object because it is a symbol of multiple aspects. It is a symbol of power and writers have the power in their hands to write what they wish and in the ways they wish. The chair also puts the person in the limelight just as Angela decided to do so when she wrote this novel but also Jessica; the main protagonist in the novel puts herself forward. It can restrain us but it can also support us. And Jessica sees this too -- she overcomes her battles and turns them in her favour such as when she is conducting the interview in front of the whole class. Just as the narrator says: "She felt that she had managed to take back the life that Sapphire had mercilessly swiped out of her”.

7. The pink felt pen

Pink features quite a lot in this novel. Pink is a nurturing, playful, and nostalgic colour that takes people back to their childhoods. To me, the pink felt pen stands out because it is particular just like Jessica and Martha and Cameron and Daniel. All these characters are particular in their own way. The pink felt pen also marks an emotional leap in the novel for Jessica, whilst it is also related to her artsy side. And the novel does this, it brings the emotional, the fun, and the sincere all together in one.

8. Flour

I chose flour because it is a staple ingredient and a useful one at that. What is the flour of this novel? In this sense, there are many flour(s) -- the particular setting of a high school in America, Jessica as a main character, the inner voices. All these elements come together to form one piece which is read swiftly. But the flour in the novel is used playfully such as when Jessica threw the flour playfully at Cameron. And whilst I hope that Angela had fun writing the novel, I can say that it was fun reading it. The fun the characters were having in the novel was transmitted to us as readers.

9. The picture frames

The picture frames are important because they give us a glimpse into Cameron's life, a closer look into his life which is not all glitter and gold. But besides this, I chose the frames because this novel too is made out of frames, segments of the whole story which are put together in a sequence through different characters' eyes. We are not passive readers, but rather we take on an active role in wanting to get to know the characters more and what happens next.

10. The red dress

The red dress is important because it makes Jessica shine, and indeed she is the star of the novel, mostly because she makes her own destiny. The red dress can be Kiara's tight red dress but it can also be Jessica's jaw-dropping dress. All of the characters found a true home in this novel and this is where they belong. The dynamics between them work beautifully. Of course, red symbolises life, health, vigour, courage, anger, and love. And this novel is nothing but short of these elements.

Above all, thank you Angela for writing this novel full of colour and life! Well done!

Thanks goes to Angela Bettoni, Ramani Bettoni and Clare Azzopardi for entrusting to review the manuscript of this novel.